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AÝRALYK / Ahmet Halmyrat

(Hekaýa)

Adam bar ýerinde derdu-bela bar. Bilmedik, nirden ýolukdy, sargaryp-solup barýar oglum. Alaç ýok, keselhana ýerleşdirmeli. Onda-da aýak bitip, yaňy zybana gelen çaganyň ýeke özüni. Görseň, bir tutulan guşuň bar-da! Ýogsam başga-da çaga bar welin…
Ýanynda boldum, ta iňrik garalyp, agşam sowugy düşýänçä. Soňam aldap-ogşap, oýunjaklaryňy getirjek diýip, otagdan çykdym. Jaýyň arka ýüzünden gelip, penjireden ogrynça yşykladym. Dört tarapy-da ýapylgy kiçijik krowatda gözüni tegeläp otyr. Garaşýar. Nazary syrkaw çagasyny naharlap duran gelinde, küýi başga ýanda… «Aý, gaýdaýyn indi. Haçanky öýden çykyşym, işe-de baryp bilmedim. Ýadapdyrynam, öýe bir aşsam…».
Içimi gepledip, küýlenip gaýtdym. Haý, gardaş, belanyň körügi şu bolgusyz pikirleriňde dälmi näme? Eý diýdiň – beý diýdiň, honha, aldadyň gaýtdyň çagany. Ýedi ýadyň içinde syrkaw halyna gözüni ýoluňa dikip oturandyr. Öldür, boýun almarsyň, ýöne ozüňi aýaýaň… Dagy nädeýin, elimden gelenini-hä etdim diýjeksiň. Ýok! Jan eden bolsaň, şol çaga üçin ýene-de bir zat – bir zatlar edibilerdiň ahyryn. Sen ozüňi gaýgy edýäň, menem adam ahyryn diýýärsiň. Özüňden özüňi halas etmeli! Nädip? Nädip?.. Başga alajyň ýok, şonuň üçinem ýene özüňi özüňe kömege çagyrmaly…
Adamyň ýalansyz geçýän güni barmyka? Ýogsam hemme kişem biläýjek ýaly: ýalan sözläp, diňe ýalançy bolup bolýar ahyryn. Ertesi irden daň bilen gaýdaýman?! Pikirlenip görýän welin, şol biderek zatlar-da: ol boldy, bul boldy. Garaz, gijä galdym, Gün asmanda. Keselhananyň howlusynyň tukatdygyny?! Agaçlary dagam hassa ýaly…
Ony daşaryk kim çykardyka? Ýeke özi bir gyrada ýapraklary zyňyp gapýan oýunçy pişijegi synlap dur. Meni görenok entek. Aglap-aglap diňendigi gümansyz. Meňzi zagpyran ýaly. Töwerekde bardygymy syzdymy, nämemi, bärsine bakdy birden. Birhili, tutuş ruhy bilen özgerip, maňa aňkaryldy. Elindäki kökesi dury suwuň düýbüne çökýän ýaly, emaý bilen ýere düşdi… Käkilleri halka-halka. Kirpikleri san berip dur.
– Dä-de!..
Ylgady. Uzakdan, göm-gök dumanyň içinden bir ýerlerden ellerini gerip uçup gelýär… Ýüzüp gelýär. Dünýämiz garyşdy. Men-ä ol, olam – men. Göwün – derýa, gark urup, içim-içime syganok. Ýanyma ýetiberende men ony gujaklap, hopba etmek üçin dyzyma çökdüm welin, edil şol wagt sakga duraýdy. Birdenem, erbet aglady. Men ony gursagyma gysyp, diňdirip bilmedim wagty bilen. Oglum juda nerme-näzik däl. Köşeşdi. Boýnumdan gujaklap, eňejigini omzuma diräpdir. Ses-üýn ýok…
Meniň birden içim gysyp başlady. Nämedigini bilemok, ýöne hiç mahal gaýdyp gelmejek bir zadyň özümden daşlaşyp gidip barýandygyny çala aňşyrýaryn…

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21 jogap “AÝRALYK / Ahmet Halmyrat

  1. Hekayany gaty gowy gördüm. Ahmet Halmyrat gowy yazyjy.

    Eseri paylaşanyň, onuň çagalarynyň, dostlarynyň, iliniň, garaz, hemme gowy kişileň jany sag bolsun!

  2. hormatly galamdaşyň başçylary.

    aýralygyň 4-nji aýyna gadam basdyk.

    täze eser goýup täzeden gowuşmaga näme päsgel berýär?

    bir derejelere gelmek kyn, ýetilen derejäňde saklanmak hasam kyn.

    size gaýrat dileýän.

  3. Saýtyň dizaýnam gowja. Işläp durawersin. Elim boşasa çem gelene girip çem gelen zady okamagy endik edipdirin

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